thanksgiving

or the glutton holiday (as it seams to be)
12,557,310 diets will die a quick, painless death.
20,682,000 arguments will erupt over such topics as which football team will win the superbowl, your niece should leave "that lazy, good for nothing bum" & politics.
126,841,735 children will be patted on the head (or pinched on the cheek) and told how much bigger they were than last year. in about 3 fourths of those cases said child will be given some money & told "don't tell your mother"
789,000 people will ge sick because A. they ate too much or B. some food was underdone. about half of those who ate too much will vow not to do it next year. chances are they will anyway.
60,547,930 people have planned out their shopping strategy for the next day. most of these are women. the rest are significant others & offspring that will be dragged along.


the above stats come from the totally made-up, but probably true anyway information institute.